


I Wish We Were All Rose-Colored Too (My Rose-Colored Boy)

by masokisst



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Emotional Constipation, Endgame Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, LMFAOOOO THAT TAG IS SO FUNNY, Long-Suffering Sawamura Daichi, M/M, Misunderstandings, Sad Tsukishima Kei, They’re all very dumb, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, What Have I Done, and make dumb decisions, idk what else to tag, just a lot of unrequited feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:47:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23142667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masokisst/pseuds/masokisst
Summary: In which everyone is dumb and desperate and has a bunch of emotional baggage they don’t take time to unpack.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 11
Kudos: 81





	I Wish We Were All Rose-Colored Too (My Rose-Colored Boy)

**Author's Note:**

> several things first before you start reading:
> 
> -i’ve been super inactive and i come back writing haikyuu fanfiction .,, consistency ? idk her !! 
> 
> -this has been in my notes for an unhealthy amount of time and i’m Still not sure if i should post this or not bc i don’t know how much i like it but i guess it’s a waste if i don’t so here it is...
> 
> -this is my First Work in this fandom so pls take it easy on me plsplspls
> 
> -ignore the timeline. just ,, idk When to set this so just Ignore It . it doesn’t make sense .
> 
> -this wasn’t proofread so ,, there might be typos and stuff
> 
> -forgive me pls i Love tsukki a Whole Lot
> 
> -more important notes at the end !! (has spoilers tho so read it After reading the piece !)

_ I’m not meant to hear this_ _,_ Tsukishima thinks as he’s walking behind the wall next to the vending machine on his way to the water fountain.

He could have gotten water in the cafeteria but it’s out of his way and the fountain is nearer but now he just wants to make a run for it the closer he gets and the clearer the hushed conversation is.

It’s way too obvious that one of the voices belong to Hinata—high and airy, almost like a girl’s, Tsukishima could recognize his voice anywhere, even in his sleep. The way it makes something flutter pleasantly inside Tsukishima’s chest is ignored as per usual when it comes to the tiny middle blocker. The other voice could belong to no one else but Kageyama, and the bubbly feeling inside him gets washed away with a tide of dread, the thought of them together, having a private conversation and probably sitting close and cozy makes Tsukishima bristle. He dislikes Kageyama, but not as much as seeing him with Hinata, which is almost always all the time.

He slows down unconsciously when he’s at the point nearest to the vending machine but still remaining hidden, and he holds his breath so he won’t get caught eavesdropping.

“—Like him?”

“Stop repeating it, stupid Kageyama! Someone might overhear!” Hinata’s voice is panicked but still sounds like what star dust would if it had sound. Tsukishima wills the thought away stubbornly.

So Hinata likes someone. How lame. 

His left hand bunches the fabric of his shirt near his chest. Feels weird. He keeps listening.

“W-well are you going to confess?”

Interesting. Tsukishima hears a waver in the King’s voice as he asks, but Hinata is none the wiser, humming softly in the back of his throat before answering.

“Maybe. But I wouldn’t know what to say, you know?”

There’s a long pause, from where Tsukishima is standing he can feel how charged it is; with hesitance, awkwardness, maybe hope on Kageyama’s part, one that is slowly crumbling the longer the silence stretches.

Tsukishima knows Kageyama Tobio is in love with Hinata. He thinks he always has, and that’s why he’s resented him since the moment he’s confirmed the fact. Kageyama is a formidable teammate and maybe even a friend, but knowing that his heart beats not only for volleyball anymore makes Tsukishima sick. Especially when he knows it’s for Hinata as well.

“You can practice with me.”

It’s said quietly and maybe a little desperately too, a silent defeat that rattles aimlessly in Tsukishima’s head and completely goes over Hinata’s. He really is clueless.

“Really? You’d let me practice?” Hinata sounds hesitant but excited, “You promise not to make fun of me?” There’s a muted thud followed by Hinata’s affronted exclaim, Kageyama must have hit him. “I offered, didn’t I? Now shut up and pretend I’m—“

“Wait! But what should I call him?” Hinata interrupts. So it’s a boy. Tsukishima thought he might have misheard earlier when Kageyama called them a “him” but now he’s certain it’s a boy. Perhaps someone else from the team? He resents all of the members a little bit more at the thought.

“I don’t care,” Kageyama huffs.

“You should! Aren’t you supposed to be Tsukishima, right now?”

Tsukishima freezes. Dramatically, he checks his watch to see if time did, too. Tsukishima, he said.  _ That’s me, right? _ He thinks for a dumb split-second. So it’s him that Hinata likes. A few seconds pass and the hands on his watch keeps turning—so it isn’t frozen.

“I am! And I’m saying that I don’t care!”

Kageyama’s voice snaps him back to reality, and he listens a bit more eagerly. Drinks the conversation up until he’s almost drowning in it.

“But he doesn’t like getting called Tsukki, doesn’t he? What if he hits me? Should I just call him Tsukishima?”

“I don’t c—“

“Kageyama!”

“Tsukishima is fine.” His voice is slow and thin, a hairsbreadth from breaking, but Hinata is still none the wiser. Tsukishima doesn’t know how to sympathize with the King, so he doesn’t.

“Tsukishima... I know this is sudden and all, and I know you hate me but—“

“What are you doing?”

Tsukishima suddenly jerks away, unable to hear the rest of the sentence as he whirls around to face Yamaguchi, who has seemingly materialized out of nowhere.

He must look like a spectacle, eyes wide and face probably flushed. His posture is awkward due to him sneaking around. He tries to rearrange himself as fast as possible but Yamaguchi still looks suspicious despite.

“Who’s that? Are you spying on someone confessing?” His smaller friend snickers, walking around him so he’s closer to where Hinata and Kageyama is but Tsukishima pulls him back quickly.

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

“—So I hope you’ll consider my offer.”

“Is that—“

Before Yamaguchi could raise his voice, Tsukishima muffles the rest of the sentence by slapping a palm over his mouth and dragging him towards the direction they both probably came from, walking further and further away until there’s nothing but the sound of the crunching gravel beneath them as they leave.

Tsukishima takes his hand away and shoves them in his pocket. Water be damned.

“Was that Hinata confessing to someone? Wow.” Yamaguchi whistles. “I didn’t think he had it in him.”

“He wasn’t.”

“Hmm?” Yamaguchi looks up at him imploringly, telling him to elaborate without having to say so.

“He was practicing with Kageyama. He’s gonna confess to someone else.”

Yamaguchi looks surprised for a second before his face drops like he’s sad about something.

“What?” Tsukishima inquires begrudgingly. He doesn’t like talking about why people are upset, but Yamaguchi is different because he cares about him. But he’ll never say that out loud, of course.

“Well, I mean doesn’t Kageyama like Hinata or something?”

Tsukishima knows this but he scoffs anyway, “How would you know?”

“Well um, I kinda overheard him talking to Sugawara-san about it the other day, I think he wanted to confess but I guess he won’t anymore if Hinata told him he likes someone else... That’s a rejection already, I think.”

He’s filled with a sudden satisfaction, Tsukishima may not win over Kageyama in volleyball, but Hinata’s feelings for him is a sure victory. So he doesn’t know why he suddenly feels grim.

Sure Hinata likes him, that’s already a given. But to what extent? Will he leave easily? Will he lie the way his brother did? How lame would that be? To be heartbroken a second time because he trusted words with no merit. Tsukishima is careful of the people he lets into his life and show his vulnerability to. So far it has only been Yamaguchi, and he doesn’t know if he’s willing to extend that to Hinata. But just the thought of it, of spilling his guts out to Hinata and having him kiss the hurt away after, parts of him that are sore with disuse and emptiness, it makes his chest tighten and spasm. He wants it. Wants it so bad but it hurts to admit.

But he isn’t just going to take the risk.

“Hey, Yamaguchi.” 

He takes his headphones out from his bag and hangs it around the back of his neck, itching to just put it over his ears and blast MCR until he gets home. But he has to ask first.

Yamaguchi looks up at him.

“Does,” He gets choked up. He gets choked up and Yamaguchi notices but doesn’t say anything, Tsukishima is quickly reminded once again why Yamaguchi is his only friend. “Does it make me sick... To want to hurt the person I love?”

Yamaguchi is quiet. “On purpose?”

Tsukishima walks ahead and Yamaguchi gets his answer.

“Tsukki I... I don’t know why you’re asking, but I think you shouldn’t do anything you would regret, okay?”

Tsukishima starts to notice. It isn’t anything grand or obvious or anything like that. It’s the little things, as corny as that sounds.

The way Hinata is a big ball of concentrated energy, always so excited about one thing or another, loud voice and personality. Vibrant in his happiness, almost thrumming with it. And yet he’s different towards Tsukishima. Soft and diluted like watery paint. The hostility he held when they first met, now faded to the complete opposite of his hatred. He’s more gentle when they’re in the same vicinity, when they’re playing practice matches and they’re on the same team, he asks Tsukishima to toss him a ball when he never has before, when Tsukishima teases him, his face flares so brightly he could rival his bright orange hair. So Tsukishima notices, and by his nature, he pretends he doesn’t.

When he isn’t observing Hinata, he’s looking at Kageyama. Sometimes he catches his eyes, but Kageyama looks away quickly, but not quick enough that Tsukishima doesn’t catch the hurt and longing in his eyes.

It’s a normal Wednesday when Hinata confesses. Tsukishima doesn’t know why he’s expecting anything different from that day, he overheard him and Kageyama talking about it again before morning practice and Tsukishima wants to scold them both for gossiping in a place where others could easily listen in on them.

Tsukishima is on the edge of his seat during his classes so he couldn’t focus well, he’s distracted during afternoon practice too and he gets at least two serves to the back of the head because of it.

By the end of practice, he packs his stuff slowly after changing out of his sweaty gym uniform, waiting to see if Hinata would pull through or not.

“Um ah, Tsukishima.”

He slings his bag over his chest and pretends his heart isn’t about to jump out of his ribcage. He tilts his head towards him nonchalantly and pretends to be disinterested. The rest has left long ago, Tsukishima saw when Hinata shooed Kageyama away, who insisted on waiting for him by his bike after he finishes his “business”. The dejected slump of his shoulders as he walks home alone makes Tsukishima want to do a marathon.

Hinata looks just about ready to vomit all of his organs out, his face is flushed and shiny from sweat, but he’s steady on his feet, the glint in his eyes the same as when they’re about to go on a match. Determined but with an undertone of his terror.

“What?”

Hinata breathes in and it’s only a little shaky.

“I-I like you!”

Then he suddenly bows to a 90-degree angle so aggressively that Tsukishima takes a step back in surprise.

“I’m sorry for springing this onto you out of nowhere! But I’ve had a crush on you since the second semester, and I hope you don’t hate me anymore so I can take you on a date!” He’s speaking to the floor and Tsukishima can’t see his face, but his ears and his nape is bright red, showing beneath the tufts of his messy hair.

Tsukishima wants to say he feels the same. Wants to take him by the hand, pull him close and kiss the living shit out of him. He wants to do all of these things but he’s frozen in place once again, looking down at Hinata like he’s grown a second head.

In the lack of response, Hinata starts to fidget. He stands back up slowly and looks at Tsukishima beneath his lashes. Tsukishima thinks he might be going into sudden cardiac arrest, just by looking at how lovely the red of Hinata’s cheeks compliment his hazel eyes and orange hair, or how pretty his face is with that heartbroken look on it. Yamaguchi may not have said it but Tsukishima knows he’s a sick person.

He doesn’t answer, his focus solely on trying to regain the feeling back in his fingers, which he’s been clenching hard since Hinata called for his attention.

He ticks down the symptoms of a cardiac arrest in his head. He and Yamaguchi went over it before their biology exam the other day.

_ 1\. Fatigue or weakness. _

The longer they stand there in silence, the more fidgety Hinata gets. He sways back and forth on his feet, twiddling with his hair and fingers and looking anywhere but at Tsukishima. He looks adorable, cheeks still ruddy and red. Tsukishima feels his knees buckle.

_ 2\. Shortness of breath. _

“T-Tsukki...” Hinata says hesitantly, because he knows Tsukishima doesn’t like that nickname but he uses it anyway, Tsukishima’s next inhale catches in his throat and he covers his mouth to stop his gasp. He hates the nickname still, but a little less when it’s coming from Hinata’s mouth.

_ 3\. Dizziness. _

“Please say something,” Hinata pouts, and Tsukishima goes lightheaded. How could one person hold so much cuteness in such a small body? Tsukishima thinks he’s lucky he’s leaning against a wall, or he would have probably fallen over. He still doesn’t talk, though.

_ 4\. Heart palpitations. _

The silence becomes unbearable, as it always does when it follows after a confession. Hinata’s shoulders drop and his face shutters, like he’s closing in on himself—hiding.

“Th-that’s alright, you don’t have to say anything today.” But the wobble in his chin says otherwise. Tsukishima’s ribs rattle with every breath.

“But... But if you have an answer for me, maybe by Friday, I’d like to hear it. Same time, same place.” Hinata doesn’t look as determined as he sounds, his false bravado only going so far. His shoulders are lined with defeat, but his voice is tough and unyielding. “No pressure, though! Only if you want.”

5\. _Chest pain._

Tsukishima forces himself to push away from the wall, clinging onto his last thread of self constraint so he wouldn’t give anything away. He tucks his headphones over his ears but doesn’t play any music. He can’t let his feelings complicate the situation any further. He likes Hinata but doesn’t quite trust him. He breathes through the growing lump in his throat and is surprised he isn’t wheezing when he says, “Okay.” Then leaves. He’s rubbing the achy spot over his chest during his entire walk home. It isn’t cardiac arrest but it doesn’t go away even when he wakes up for school the next day.

Thursday is the usual affair, nothing changes except the subtle way Hinata tries to worm closer to him. He indulges it, but only when Kageyama’s looking. Yamaguchi looks perplexed but doesn’t say anything, Hinata is delighted.

He’s alone when practice ends, Yamaguchi has a family thing so he hurries home and the others go to Sakanoshita’s for meat buns. He’s fiddling with the volume on his headphones and internally deciding which playlist he’s going to walk home to when he feels a tug on the back of his shirt.

He turns around, half-heartedly expecting it to be Hinata but deflates a little when he only sees one of the girls from his class. He’s a little curious though, school ended hours ago, so what’s she doing here, still?

He voices that thought out loud and he watches her splutter through her way of telling him that she intended on staying late so she could talk to him. She doesn’t particularly stand out to him in class, but he finds her incredibly annoying at that moment.

“W-what I wanted to say is, I really li—“

“If you’re going to confess to me, do it tomorrow, okay? Meet me here after practice.”

_ Don’t do anything you would regret. _

Yamaguchi’s voice echoes in the back of his head when he brings the girl up to their changing cabin, neglecting the fact that this is a bad idea and it could not only be Hinata that could walk in on them.

The girl confesses as Tsukishima said she would, and he doesn’t even remember her name but he kisses her anyway, her lips are buttery soft and tastes like candy but it feels wrong. It’s his first, and he’s wasting it at the cost of what?

“Tsukishima!”

As he predicted, when he pulls away from the girl, almost the entire team is spilling in from the open doorway of the room. The girl, terrified of the sudden audience, scurries off with an apology, the group parting so she could run through.

She bumps into Hinata though, who’s still standing stock-still by the doorway. He ignores her apology, or when Daichi lightly scolds him for standing around and letting his sweat dry.

Tsukishima barely registers it when Kageyama fists his shirt with both hands and slams him against the wall opposite to the door. Tanaka’s idol poster crumples by the force of it.

“You fucking asswipe.” Kageyama growls, pulling him forward by his collar before slamming him back, harder than the first. Tsukishima barely feels the sting, as he’s still looking at Hinata. He hasn’t moved, but from where Tsukishima is and how the afternoon light is framing his face, there are tears shining in his eyes.

“I’ll fucking kill y—“

Daichi is on him before he could land his first punch, which Tsukishima didn’t even see him reel back for, barking at Kageyama to calm down and take a walk, and also yelling at Tsukishima that their changing cabin is off-limits to non-athletes.

Tsukishima watches as Hinata runs off, and Kageyama chases after him. Tsukishima wonders when he downgraded from being a King to a servant lap dog.

He bows to the group in apology, everyone is too shocked with the events to say anything more intelligible than halfhearted murmurs, apart from Yamaguchi, who seems to have figured everything out from just the scene that unfolded not even a minute ago. His parting glance is coated in disappointment, but Tsukishima is already out the door before he could think about it.

It isn’t hard to find the duo after they ran off, they’re as predictable as their first practice match against each other. Kageyama is standing in front of the vending machine while Hinata sits on the ground, head buried between his knees.

“Shouyou.”

His voice startles the two, and Tsukishima braces himself for Kageyama to finish what he started in the changing room but instead, Kageyama huffs frustratedly and ignores him. He kneels down and gives Hinata a milk box.

Tsukishima flounders for words to say, it’s easier to talk and act smart when he’s speaking to someone who’s angry and sputtering, but now he’s the one grasping for words, unused to the silence from the two.

“Shouyou,” He tries again, trying to drain his voice of any emotion besides his carefully crafted nonchalance. “D-don’t be distracted for our match on Monday.”

He walks away shamefully, trying to keep his posture straight but not tense, pretending that he doesn’t hear when Hinata starts crying again, or how foreign Kageyama sounds with his heart pouring into every whispered word as he comforts Hinata, so very different from the King Tsukishima knows on the court.

He doesn’t see, when Kageyama presses his forehead against Hinata’s, faces close enough that their noses touch and their eyelashes flutter together.

“If you liked me, if you chose me Hinata, I would never hurt you like this. I swear, I won’t.” Kageyama’s words sounds more like a promise and feels like comfort, and Hinata believes it. Hangs onto them like a lifeline.

“Yeah.”

The next day’s practice is a tense affair. Even without Kageyama and Hinata yet, who are both suspiciously absent, questions are posed but unsaid within the group. And as the latest members arrive, their setter and decoy are still yet to make an appearance, which they’re all a bit worried about by then. It’s usually them who are earliest to weekend practices, and though not mandatory, they never miss a single one.

Sugawara calls for a break when they all get too distracted with worry, Tanaka is finicky, as is Nishinoya, so Yamaguchi offers to call Hinata to see what’s up to calm them down.

Just as he’s ringing Hinata up though, the doors of the gymnasium slams open, the old hinges almost snapping in half with the strength of it, Hinata and Kageyama falling through in an exhausted heap, as if they ran there (which they probably did).

“Where have you two been?”

Kageyama is still sprawled on the ground face down, panting in harsh gulps of air while Hinata is already sitting up, forehead dotted with sweat.

“W-we overslept.”

“ _ We _ ?” Tanaka says in interest, his earlier panic replaced with a teasing grin and an evil glint in his eyes.

Tsukishima pretends he’s unbothered as he scans over Hinata, his brain refusing to take in his disheveled appearance even if his eyes see it.

_ Setter Soul. _ His shirt says. It’s big and ugly and black, and most probably not his. Because Hinata isn’t a setter, and he wouldn’t wear anything that isn’t pastel or white unless it’s their uniform. These are things that Tsukishima knows by observation. He looks at Hinata a lot and he remembers. Hinata’s radiant smile when he successfully performs a spike, his favorite training shirts that are loose and frayed, his face when it’s full of tears when Tsukishima broke his heart. These are things that he’ll never forget—important details that will catalyze most of his decisions from then on.

“I slept over at Kageyama’s yesterday, get your mind out of the gutter Tanaka-san.”

“Glad you could make it. 50 receives for being late.” Daichi cuts in smoothly, drowning out Hinata’s affronted groan with laughter.

The practice goes on without a hitch, but Hinata is more or less avoiding him, which is expected. Tsukishima could barely focus, which gets him scolded by three different seniors within two hours. He can’t stop looking at Hinata. At how comfortable he looks in Kageyama’s stupid  _ Setter Soul _ shirt, how he looks a bit tired and his face is puffy but he plays like his problems are no skin off his nose.

Afterwards Daichi tells them to use all of Sunday to rest as much as they could, and not to practice anymore later so they can save energy for their first and last match with Shiratorizawa, determining their position in the prefecture and reclaiming their title.

Hinata and Kageyama still tries to get a few more quicks in but one look from Sugawara makes them backtrack, instead picking up all the balls they used and replacing them in the bin.

They all part ways after locking up, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima naturally walking together as they are neighbors.

“Oh, Shouyou, hello! This is out of your way, isn’t it?”

Tsukishima was busy texting his mom to see, head shooting up at Yamaguchi’s sudden announcement. He meets Hinata’s eyes head on, not like he has any other choice. His gaze always seems to gravitate towards him no matter what he does.

“I walked Kageyama home, he lives not far down from here.” He says politely, tight. He’s still wearing the stupid  _ Setter Soul _ shirt.

“Oh. Well, see you then.” Yamaguchi begins walking again, Hinata bows to him and also starts leaving. When Tsukishima realizes they’re going to cross paths, he acts without thinking. Which is a first. He realizes he’s making a habit out of ruining all of his firsts and he hates it. He’s holding onto Hinata’s elbow before he knows it.

“Are you and the King dating?” His thoughts are running wild, too fast to filter them, and the back of his eyes are pounding mercilessly, he doesn’t know if it’s a migraine or tears.

“Why do you care?” Hinata isn’t looking at him, his bangs are falling over his eyes so Tsukishima doesn’t know what his expression is. He doesn’t know if that’s good or bad, because if he sees his face he will never forget.

“You know he likes you, right?” Tsukishima tries to keep his voice sound as casual as possible, but it trembles near the end with nerves. Hinata is still staring ahead when he says, “I do.” 

“So you like him too then?” 

No response.

“I thought you liked  _ me _ .”

This gets a reaction out of Hinata, but it isn’t a good one. He shakes out of Tsukishima’s slack grip and stumbles back, and when Tsukishima sees his face he wishes he didn’t.

The image of Hinata’s face, twisted in agony as if Tsukishima just shot him, is the worst thing he’s ever seen since he met eyes with his brother across the bleachers at Karasuno all those years ago.

“Shut up.”

Hinata walks past him, but not without clipping him with his shoulder. With their height difference, Hinata only manages to catch his elbow, but Tsukishima stumbles nonetheless.

“Do you still like me?” Tsukishima knows he’s being loud because his voice carries even with the harsh spring wind, that and Yamaguchi, whose presence they both completely forgot about, tells him to lower his volume.

Hinata stops in his tracks, but he doesn’t turn around.

“You still like me, Shouyou?” He isn’t met with an answer but the rigidness of Hinata’s posture is answer enough. “You do.”

His mind is a mess.  _ Don’t do anything you would regret. Regret. Regret. Regret. _ Hinata is  _ leavingleavingleaving  _ leaving him and he’s gonna disappear and never come back and  never learn to love him and Tsukishima is gonna forget and he doesn’t want—

“How lame.”

Hinata turns around slowly, as if he’s savoring the moment that he isn’t breaking Tsukishima’s heart before going straight for the kill.

“I hate you, you know that right? I hate you. I  hate you Tsukishima, never talk to me again!”

“Do you, really? You’re crying.”

Hinata hiccups and wipes at his cheeks as if he’s only just realizing that he is, but he doesn’t hide it. Tsukishima feels a little bit like following suit, hearing Hinata’s words. His chest is alight with flames that lick up his throat, the smoke making his eyes water. But he doesn’t cry. He won’t let himself cry. He’s made this bed for himself. And now—

“Fuck you! Why are you doing this to me?”

Tsukishima’s heart pounds merciless inside his rib cage, begging him to just crumble and apologize, but he doesn’t yield. Even as his legs take him towards Hinata, to Hinata who isn’t looking up anymore, arms wrapped around himself as he cries. Even as he wipes the tears off Hinata’s cheeks, so gentle despite his cutting words.

Hinata doesn’t say anything more but he doesn’t step away either. The moment still feels precarious despite this.

When Hinata walks away, it feels like something ended.

He and Yamaguchi walk home together.

“Aren’t you gonna say you told me so?” Tsukishima’s voice is thick like he’s been crying, but he’s sure he wasn’t.

“No. No I don’t think I will Tsukki.”

And Tsukishima remembers that.

When they secure their victory against Shiratorizawa by Monday, Tsukishima earns his place in Karasuno and the respect of his members and everybody else in the gymnasium, despite his broken finger and the looming tenseness in the team, he still played well, and so did the others.

“I want to kiss you. Can I kiss you?” 

Tsukishima doesn’t turn to know that it’s Kageyama asking. His voice is alight with happiness, and everyone hoots and hollers in delight.

He takes his time, but when he turns they’re already kissing, Hinata’s shaggy orange hair obscuring Kageyama’s face when he dived on top of him as a response.

Tsukishima doesn’t run. He doesn’t like wasting energy on pointless things. He walks slowly, counting his steps until he reaches the door of the gym.

He looks down at the medal on his chest, how could something so heavy feel so hollow?

A single wet droplet shines brighter than the gold when hit with light. It’s followed by another, and another, until Tsukishima could barely hold himself up with the force of his sobs.

He holds the gold close to his chest and wishes more than anything that he could push it behind his ribs so he has something to fill the emptiness with.

He lost. If he strains his ears he can hear Hinata’s happy, tinkling laughter from within the heart of the gym and he knows he’ll never make him happy like that. It’s a bittersweet defeat.

How lame.

**Author's Note:**

> again ,,, I’m So Sorry . But !! if people end up liking this , i’m thinking about continuing and maybe give tsukishima the redemption arc he deserves . and by redemption i mean learning how to trust other people , Actually talking about his problems and emotions and maybe even giving him the Love he deserves ?? i’ll even take suggestions on Who !!! mayhaps i can also elaborate more on how kageyama and hinata’s relationship Escalated bc i feel like i just Sprung It In There and it came outta nowhere but .,, idk maybe i can work on that ? that’s all . i’m talking too much i think. hope u enjoyed ! i wish to write more in this fandom so i hope i don’t get condemned over this lol . byebyeee


End file.
